Looking for articles pertaining to the late Jon Dough's widow Monique DeMoan I stumbled upon an online article from The Guardian which focused on author and scholar Gail Dines, one of planet Earth's leading anti-pornography activists. The article was compelling and somewhat shocking but I myself unfortunately could not associate myself with either side of the spectrum described in the article. I mean for being a paradoxical viewpoint myself being in love with porn and yet believing it destroys lives, it is difficult for me to associate myself blatantly on either side of the fence due to my own very personal attachments and values placed upon the graphic "art-form" which has increasingly become distorted and self-parodied over the decades. Before I start my ranting and soapboxing on the subject, let me just remind everyone who bothers actually reading any part of my blog(s) (hopefully those who recall the time when I actually had time to properly dedicate to blogging or writing) that it is in most people's natures to be curious, and that it is also considered somewhat normal to push one's nature of curiosity beyond its limits. David Cronenberg's 1982 "Videodrome" featured the main protagonist (portrayed perfectly by James Woods) always looking for more extreme programming for his little TV station, in the hopes of gaining and especially keeping the viewers' interests. ("According to Dines's research the prevalence of porn means that men are becoming desensitised to it, and are therefore seeking out ever harsher, more violent and degrading images.")
"As a result of her research, Dines believes that pornography is driving men to commit particular acts of violence towards women. "I am not saying that a man reads porn and goes out to rape," she says, "but what I do know is that porn gives permission to its consumers to treat women as they are treated in porn." In a recent study, 80% of men said that the one sex act they would most like to perform is to ejaculate on a woman's face; in 2007, a comment stream on the website Jezebel.com included a number of women who said that, on a first date, they had, to their surprise, experienced their sexual partner ejaculating on their faces without asking.". I will be honest and say that this shocked me (as well as the paragraph from the original article which let to this) from both extremes. First of all I was shocked that so many men were actually interested in facials (my 3 closest guy friends really don't care much for this at all) and secondly that they would do so without telling their partners, even upon the first sexual encounter. In order to understand my point of view on this, you have to remember where I come from (pun unintentional but appropriate). Ever since I can remember I myself have always fantasized of cumming on women, especially their faces. To me this was never about degradation or violence or any of that stuff. While most of my "virgin" fellow pubescent teens were more interested in creampies, swallowing, and anal sex, the external cumshot was always considered somewhat "gay" back in the early 80s: as though ejaculating anywhere except inside a woman was the sign of a guy's uncertain sexual orientation.
I will admit that when I saw my first porn video ("Young And Naughty" the Nikki Charm vehicle) and witnessed that first cumshot, I was amazed. Add to that how all cumshots in that film were external. To my surprise it seemed that external cumshots were the norm in porn those days, and this fueled both my own obsession with sperm as well as wishing to view more porn; to witness more ejaculations. To myself it was never a "gay" thing at all even though it seemed a bit queer to most hetero guys in those days since no one watched porn for the cumshots: they watched it to see cute naked women having non-simulated sex. Again I repeat myself by saying that in those days, facial cumshots were quite rare: they did not happen in every porno film and in most cases, were very disappointing. Add to this how I myself never go to actually have sex until I was 19 years old, and after that it took some years before I was able to actually cum ON a woman I was intimate with, as opposed to always cumming inside her. So to a guy like me with my experience in the days before the internet, facial cumshots were like the holy grail of sorts: the most dreamed of sexual act I simply could not (never) obtain or experience: like a fantasy reserved strictly for those athletes in porn flicks.
My own "obsession" with facial cumshots has never lead to me treating women with less respect nor expecting them to act out any of the olympic challenges that porn depicts. I have never cum on a woman's face without asking her first, and never forced it upon her either. I don't want to ejaculate on a woman's face because I have seen it done in porn; rather I sort of "thank" porn for showing me this, which in a way sort of satisfied the need and desire to act out on this activity. There are also other ways of viewing porn besides its reported nefarious effects on young and impressionable people. For guys, it is obvious that it can lead to warped views on sex as most porn, especially and increasingly so with modern porn Y2K porn, seems to be crafted to show that women are in fact meant to/supposed to be abused at the hands of the make co-stars. It is of course quite logical to view this as a true negative effect since modern porn does promote acts like chocking, gagging, anal and DP sex as "normal" and "standard", which in turn can only lead to a desensitization in the eyes of the young impressionable males who view such porn, thinking it is only normal to treat women in such a fashion. As for women, this also provides a whole different set of problems as the increasingly pornofication of the media and fashion only leads to women growing up believing that they need to look and dress in certain ways. I know it's a bit far fetched and maybe my example is not exactly on par with the subject at hand but take what wordsmith genius George Carlin (RIP) said about how americans are now promotional billboards with the clothes they wear: all articles of clothing are now plastered with company names, logos and even mottos, from the obvious T-Shirts to the running shoes and even underwear is now a brand's promotional billboard. Poor women have to grow up being forced to subject themselves to ever "evolving" fashion treads which are more and more borrowing from porn: just look at the evolution of the high heel: 20 or so years ago one needed to buy such items in specialized shops (which usually catered to prostitutes) whereas today one can not even buy a heeled shoe that isn't at least 3 or 4 inches high. I myself have baptized this (years ago I might add) as "hooker heels", something the 20-something girls of today just don't understand since they grew up with this being common and normal. Such is the pornofication of AmeriKa and the subsequent unconscious acceptance from the grand majority.
Essentially while I am standing here on the thin white line in the middle of the road, I realize my own viewpoint may quite possible never taken seriously since I do not condemn porn, and in fact to some degree am actually supporting it. As I have mentioned numerous times in the past, I do not see porn as something which is to be taken literally and used as a blueprint for real life intimate reactions with interpersonal relationship, but rather as a way for me to "exorcise" my own sexual needs which are simply not being met nor satisfied. This of course can be counter-argued that it is a side effect of porn in itself and that my so-called needs would not exist as they are if they weren't represented in porn, the porn that I do end up watching. But it is the old chicken or egg thing after all: if today's impressionable youth are exposed and desensitized at a young age by porn, what of older men who may or may not be so easily manipulated by the images presented in pornography? And on my own personal level, would my love and desire for facial cumshots be as "intense" as it is now if I did not subject myself to such imagery? Would the desires go away if I simply stopped feeding myself with them?
I know what the modern-day and so-called feminists would say about my own claim concerning how I myself do not see the way I consume my porn nor the way I view how facial cumshots should be enjoyed as a discriminatory or degrading/violent act towards women. I have to do this but must I remind modern pseudo-feminists about the Cytheria case? To those who don't know, a little over a year ago, ex-pornstar (and basically the god-mother of squirting) Cytheria was violated and raped in her Las Vegas home. Four young men (at least two being under the age of 18) broke into Cytheria's home (1 went away but 3 stayed in the home) and proceeded to rob and damage the property, holding a man hostage at knife point while they also raped Cytheria while her two children were also at home. The fourth guy came in and told the three to stop it, but when he left the home, one of the three rapists came back to continue raping Cytheria. My point here is why didn't the media cover this story about home invasion and sexual assault, abd why did ALL feminist groups ignored this and maintained radio silence while the community and friends pleaded for help? How come these so-called feminists can pick and choose which situations and subject matters are worthy of being addressed and attacked? Some people have come out saying these so-called modern feminists aren't true feminists but rather lobbyists using the government grants and publicity to continue engaging in an anti-male "war". But even if that were true, they could have used the Cytheria story to their advantage since it was a perfect situation to show how men are all rapists and will use any opportunity to give into their basest of vices. In any case and whatever you wish to take from this and form whatever opinion of your own, my point is that I never considered myself an anti-woman nor a passive-aggressor of women due to my own porn habits. In fact my own personal views on how I view porn are well documented online and anyone who has ever spent any time reading those areas of my blogs (past/censored, and moderate present) know that I never really considered myself a typical porn consumer. This is why I am a bit enraged when I here about the anti-porn leagues typecasting all males into one big aggressive family bent simply on the abuse of women and the continuating propaganda it encompasses. I mean if they think porn makes the modern male so violent towards women, just look at the middle ages in a time when there was no porn available and see how comprehensive and caring men were towards women in comparison with today's morals and trends. Again I must apologize for basing myself and using such an example, since it is but an opinion and not a fact. Whatever anyone thinks, it is all in the end a question of perception. And my final opinion on this is don't watch porn if you don't want to, and don't date guys who'll cum on your face without asking you on the first date. Or at least, now you know that if a guy proceeds to cum on your face without asking or warning, he's a selfish prick who is easily manipulated by modern society's media and thinks that whatever is portrayed in said media is truth, and so ladies, such a man is not long-term material. Facials should be fun, not forced.